It was Monday (10/06/2013). I went to the campus very late. The problem was, I went to bed again after making tahajud, hajat, witir, jamaah subuh prayer, and Istigotsah. I just woke up at 08.45. It was the worst in this summer session. I used to went to the campus at 6.00 am. I had an appointment for Search history study in Mixed Reality Lab with a first year PhD student at 10.00 am. I did it for the sake of £15 money and I was curious how the research was. I met him on time. It was surprising me that he just started his PhD within 5 months and he was carrying out an experiment for a paper for a workshop. He was a quite productive student, isn’t it. I was so envious with him. Apparently, we got problem in exporting the history file to xml file and it caused the experiment to be cancelled to next week. At least, I had a small discussion with him. We shared the same opinion that, PhD is some time very boring and Life is never easy.
I was quite so sad. I did not get feed back for my report from my supervisor already after I submit to him a month ago. I just got minor feedback from my second supervisor only. I tried to read again and comment to my own report. Apparently, I my self, still found my own mistakes. I also managed to convert from lateX version to word version manually. Fortunately, I found a useful link from the internet that can convert pdf to word automatically. So, I just let the software do for me and I am focusing on proof reading my report.
Again, today I felt so lonely. I was so sad without did not know the reason. I really needed someone to share with. I really needed someone to discuss and talk with. But, I found nothing. I just discussed with my own. I had some lab mates, but we worked on different project and my lab mates rarely come to the Lab. Oh, sometime PhD was very lonely journey. It was not easy thing, indeed. When I felt lonely, I came to facebook and youtube and it was decreasing my productivity significantly. Oh God, it was very not easy thing. I did really want to be very diligent and hard working student, but I still can not. It was so daunting day.
In the afternoon, I went to the University Park for submitting my claim form for my Invigilating work after submitting the similar claim form for marking works in school of computer science office. I made Duhur prayer jamaah at Portland Building and met some friends from Indonesia. At least, It gave me a light smiles for this gloomy day.
In my random walk in Facebook, I found link shared by one of my friends. It was about Bu Een, a paralyzed senior teacher, the winner of recent SCTV Liputan 6 award. Despite of her physical limitation, she was still inspiring the others with education. She reminded me to never give up even though we were in very difficult situation and sometime we were so tired and bored. We should be strong and steadfast in facing each single stage of this Life.
Thank you very much Bu Een for Inspiring me today. Oh God, please help me. Come to my heart and close to me. I need a lasting friend in my heart and it is you. God, please hold my heart tight and never leave me alone.