….. and at the end of the day I really want to go home to something worth going home to namely family. I am so lucky, I have it.
Being apart – in a place of a long lonely journey and too far away – from the loved ones was never easy.
It was so Sunday (12/05/2013). I woke up from my tight sleep at around 2.15 am in the morning. I took Wudlu and prayed for Isyak, Tahajut, Hajat, and Witir. In each single of my prayer, I always pray for my loved ones, family, and friends. To be given all of blessing in their life. After having my Sahur Meal, I went to mosque at Portland Building the University Park. It was quite cold day because a day before was raining for along the day. It was like a winter again that force me to wear my thick jacket. I walked for about 15 minutes to arrive at the mosque. Conquering the extremely cold weather was paid off with warm greeting from my brothers-in-islam in the mosque and I loved it so much.
After the Subuh prayer, I hid under my thick Duvet while reciting the Quran and Istigotsah. I was so sleepy and finally overslept while the Quran was still in my hands. an hour later, I woke up again. Suddenly, I missed my mother very much. I kept in touch with my wife and son everyday, but did not with my mother. I contacted my mother quite rarely, at most once a week. I took my mobile phone and called her.
I could hear from her voice that She was extremely happy. I could see and hear love in each single word she spoke to me. She always wanted to make sure that I was all right, healthy, and happy. I found encouraging in each single of her lough. When, I asked her to make prayer for me, she always convinced me that even I did not request to, she always and will always be praying for me. O, I love you mom and Dad. Sorry, for that I had always been pretending so busy with my own business, while in your heart , I knew that I was always be there.
Her caring and loving voices reminded me that actually I had so many people that loved me. I had a big family that loving me sincerely but I took them for granted. I had parents, parent in-law, sisters, brothers, sisters in law, brothers in law, uncles, aunties, nephews, nieces, cousins, and so forth. But, I ignored them. I did not care about them and I looked like I did not really need them so far. It was true that I had many friends. Friends that are some time more than family. Frequently, I prefer friends to family to share my Life with. I felt more comfort to share my problems with my friends than to my family. I was so lucky, I have many nice friends yet made me forget that I have family.
Suddenly, I took my mobile phone and I made call to my aunties, my mother- in law, my cousins, my brother and sister in-law. Indeed, it was my first time I contacted them since I came to the UK. It was my first time I communicated directly with them, since I said good bye to them. Oh God, how evil I was. They were so surprised and extremely happy that I contacted them just for asking how their life was going. I could hear clearly from their voice a convincing truth of how they are sincerely caring, loving, and wishing me a best luck all the time. They were the most beautiful poem that I ever had. They were my supporting hearts. That, ridiculously I just realized it.
eventually, when I was down, … it reminded me that there are other hearts hoping me to be very successful in the near future.
And at the end of the day I really want to go home to something worth going home to namely family. I felt so lucky I have a family, the place where at the end of day my sailing boat will lie the anchor to.
It was raining and the sky was so dark, but it can not stop my foot path walking to the Lab. Lonely, I spent my time in the lab to deal with my PhD stuff until 09.00 PM. Thank you Allah for my Family. It was a priceless gift I ever had. I will never muff them again. Thank you Allah for the day. I love you !